Fair Enough

When I was a kid my family would go over to my grandparents’ house for Easter dinner. Upon walking in the door my grandfather would exclaim, “I made a butter lamb, here… I’ll show you.” As a kid I always thought this was really cool. I’m not the least bit artistic, so I was amazed that someone could just do this with a stick of butter and a knife. As I have grown older I have discovered that the butter lamb is a Polish American thing that’s especially prevalent in the Buffalo area. As an adult this cultural connection has made the butter lamb all the cooler. You can imagine my surprise to find a life size butter cow sculpture in the middle of Iowa, at a state fair, on a 90 degree day.

My destiny with the cow started while I was at work at Hy-Vee. Out of the blue one of my coworkers asked, “are you going to go to the fair, it’s world famous you know?” I replied that I was indeed contemplating going to the fair but that I didn’t realize it was so famous. “Oh yes, did you know they have a butter cow?” I was pretty much sold after that. Besides a butter cow (as if I needed additional incentive) there was also the promise of meat on a stick, and terrifying animals. The excursion was locked in when I went home and Chrysa said “I think you should go to the fair… it’s famous.” I shared my new info on the butter cow and it was all decided. I was off to the fair at my earliest convenience.

Due to my wife’s work and travel schedule I was going on my mission to spot the elusive butter cow solo. I was sad to safari through the wilds of Des Moines alone, but I was excited at the same time. The sun was shining, as if to mirror my bright mood, so I pulled the top off the Jeep and headed down I35 toward Des Moines.

I got to the fairgrounds, found parking easily, and began my experience by getting something to eat. I arrived around lunch time, and with a healthy appetite. I didn’t really know the lay of the land, so I really chose the first place that looked good, and had the promise of cold beer. What I ended up with was a smoked meatball sandwich and a Corona. The sandwich was good, and the Corona did its job, but both left me wanting something more… fair like. I continued my mission by going into the livestock and agricultural pavilions.

Each building gave me what I was truly looking for in my fair going experience. I got to see a short horse riding exposition, blue ribbon winning sculptures, photos and vegetables, and flea market items. I was having a great time, but I was also working up a thirst, there was only one thing that could satisfy me… beer.

Most fairs I have been to have a single contained beer tent in order for adults to get their refreshment on. The Iowa State Fair is different in this regard. There were beer tents all over the place. A welcome sight on a blazing hot August day. I spotted the Iowa Craft Beer Tent after leaving the terrifying horse pavilion, where I had been frightened by a horse that didn’t want to leave its trailer. I was really ready for the pre-prohibition style ale that I had after that experience. It was while drinking my ale that I had remembered my mission… find the cow. I tossed back my brew and redoubled my efforts to find the slippery bovine.

It turns out that I had walked right past the thing already. I hadn’t noticed the display because it was behind glass (which makes sense considering the weather) and hidden behind a line of people. I’m not really sure how to describe the butter cow once I got close enough to see it. It’s a cow. It’s made of butter. It’s a bit of a letdown to be honest. I’m not sure what I was expecting, so maybe I’m being unfair, but it was… neat? Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t wait in line for it. I just let my natural height and freakishly long arms do their work, and I took some pics over people’s heads. Of more interest was the Star Trek butter sculptures. Now those were cool!

After seeing a butter animal I decided to get close to the real thing. Bucking up my courage, I took some pics with livestock, and got some cute duck pictures. I also said hello to a baby ostrich and a turkey, neither of which were a cute as the ducks (so f’n adorable).

 

I knew I had a long drive home so I wrapped things up after the ducks. I did grab a fantastic kabob prior to leaving. I knew I would be hungry and man did this thing hit the spot. I also grabbed Chrysa and I a four square bar. It’s kind of a jacked up Rice Krispy treat on a stick. I knew my wife would want something from the fair so she could share in the experience.

I had an absolutely great time at the fair and will talk it up to anyone who ever asks me about it. It had great food, cool animals, and great beer all over the place. My only real regret is that Chrysa couldn’t join me for it. You will notice that I didn’t mention the butter cow as a regret. Well it wasn’t… it’s just not a cool as my grandpas butter lamb.

(78)